It’s a custom almost every Bhutanese knows about, but would rather not discuss. It is an old courtship ritual that is being misunderstood by many who don’t know its origin.
The misnomer leads to a serious misinterpretation of the practice and leads the audience to think that there are exploitation and abuse, objectification, and animality involved as the word ‘hunting’ would imply.
In the sixteenth century, the region came under Tibetan rule. Zhabdrung Ngawang Namgyal (1594–1651), who was referred to as “Zhabdrung Rinpoche” (which translates to “the precious jewel at whose feet one submits”), set up a dual system of an administration headed by a spiritual leader and a civil government leader.
This system endured until 1907 when a hereditary monarchy was established. In the nineteenth century, the British sought to incorporate Tibet within their influence, which posed a threat to Bhutan, but this problem was successfully eliminated by Penlop Ugyen Wangchuck, who played the role of mediator between British India and Tibet.
Wangchuck became the first hereditary monarch of Bhutan in 1907. In 1949 Bhutan officially became an independent nation. Bhutan’s national identity is intimately bound up with its religious identity as a Buddhist nation. Buddhism influences both the daily lives of its people as well as the government, in which Buddhist religious leaders have considerable power.
Bomena, as ‘night hunting’ was originally called in the Bhutanese tongue, literally means ‘going towards a girl’. This courtship involves a boy stealthily entering a girl’s house at night for courtship or coitus with or without prior consultation. Young men walk out at night to see a girl for romance or s$xual relationship.
Young men, thus, would sneak out of their houses after their families went to bed. While some may have a prearranged date to go to and thus travel alone to the young woman’s house, others may be simply trying their luck and go in groups. Although they start in groups and may help each other in getting into the houses, they slowly disperse as each finds his way to his intended young woman.
Once in the house, a new visitor has to also figure out where the intended young woman is sleeping, generally in stealth under the cover of darkness. This is not easy as many traditional Bhutanese families all slept in one large room, which is used as the kitchen, living, and bedroom.
The successful prowler normally leaves the house before daybreak without the knowledge of the parents. If he has overslept and is caught, he may be made to take the hand of the young woman or given a warning never to return again. To be fair, Bomena is said to be practiced only in the eastern and central parts of the country.
Passang Tshering, who belongs to Yangthang village in western Bhutan, has heard stories about Bomena from his friends from the east. And this is typically how they go: a boy would express his intention to the girl about his visit. The girl usually sleeps in the same room as her parents.
So after the family is fast asleep at night, the boy will sneak into the girl’s house. If she does not like the visitor, the girl will make some noise to wake her parents up who will then chase the boy away.
“Some fathers keep a wooden staff ready,” Tshering says. The girl could also reject the boy’s offer in which case the boy would have to leave. In most cases, the act is consensual.
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